


Colorblind

by sporadic_obsession



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-30
Updated: 2016-12-12
Packaged: 2018-09-03 07:50:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8703805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sporadic_obsession/pseuds/sporadic_obsession
Summary: In a world where soulmates are a fact, and the only way to see color is to find yours, Castiel Novak has spent the past ten years grieving being betrayed by his.When a high school reunion happens, they meet again.What could possibly happen, eh?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!  
> I took a while to work on this, and I hope I've done a good enough job to get it across the way I wanted to, really. This story has seen many endings, but this is the one I was most happy with, so this is what you guys are stuck with, too!  
> Thanks for taking the time out of your day to read this, and I hope you like it!

In the beggining, there was one. Two arms, two legs, two eyes; one brain, one nose, one heart. But this heart, it was much bigger than humans think. It beat twice as loud, and hung heavy on the creature's chest - too heavy. Being shown mercy, this creature was split in two - arms and legs thinner, eyesight duller as it stared ahead at its equal; the heart on their chests was one, but split in two, so they could both bear the burden of what brought them together. Everything was beautiful, life was easier - until it wasn't.

Free will was always allowed, to every creature ever known; that's what made the world free, after all. So when one of two halves decided to leave, it was okay; even if the heart in its chest belonged with the other heart, there was nothing tying them together. Even when the world lost its color, there was nothing stopping them from separating. To this day, the world's not sure why the separation of two halves of the same heart induces colorblindness, and while scientists still question it, no one really cares anymore. Some people don't mind being colorblind, and the ones who do just go searching for their soulmates, their better half, until they're put out of their misery.

Their world is not ideal, with too many challenges and a lot of stake into finding one's true love... but it's the hand they've been dealt, and there's no escaping it. Adaptations were made, over time, and now, this is the norm.

This is how life goes.


	2. Part I: An Encounter With the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Not that Cas didn’t appreciate his high school friends; he did, but he’d just seen Charlie the week before, and he talked to Anna and Gadreel on a daily basis. Everyone else, he had never cared much for.
> 
> Except for him."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright! So this is part I of this story... Let me know what you think so far? I'm curious to see what people think might happen next, what's your take on all of this, and all. I have the second part written and ready to post, already. Now it's just a matter of time till I do it... ;)  
> So, let me know in the comments what you think, maybe?  
> Thank you!

Cas couldn’t believe he’d come to this thing. Even though he’d already been there for an hour, he was still denying having taken part in this; refusing to admit that he’d willingly bought a ticket to attend his high school reunion just to see one person.

Not that Cas didn’t appreciate his high school friends; he did, but he’d just seen Charlie the week before, and he talked to Anna and Gadreel on a daily basis. Everyone else, he had never cared much for.

Except for him.

The second Charlie had told Cas about the reunion, Cas had firmly planted his feet on the floor and said he wouldn’t go. No amount of bribing and promises of sweet treats (she knew he had a weak spot for her chocolate chip cookies) had been able to sway his decision. She’d tried every angle, every approach, and had been incessantly begging him to go with her for months… But all it took was Anna mentioning that he was going for Castiel to agree to attend as well.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” For all her insistance, before, Charlie seemed to want to keep Castiel from going, now that this tidbit of information had been revealed. Anna and her were the only ones who really knew all that had happened, after all; they had remained friends with both ends of a broken relationship, and were well aware that seeing him had the power to either break or mend Castiel, once and for all.

“I thought you wanted me to go with you. ‘To have fun and unwind’, I believe were the words you used.”

“Well, yeah, but… He’ll be there, Cas. And he’s engaged. He’ll probably take Lisa with him, too.”

The name brought a frown to Castiel’s lips, but he said nothing. He’d known who Lisa was, once upon a time; an innocent cheerleader who’d been caught in the middle of a relationship she had no clue existed. In fact, many hadn’t known until Castiel had punched the boy who broke his heart, his best friend for so many years, in the face in the middle of a school hall, and called him every insult under the sun with tears streaming down his cheeks. It was not Castiel’s proudest moment, but he’d just heard his boyfriend had gotten the cheer captain pregnant, and he hadn’t been able to hold it in.

“Anna, I appreciate the concern, but I’m over him. It happened ten years ago.”

And that’s why Castiel was standing next to a table filled to the brim with drinks, sporting one in his hand as he watched his ex-boyfriend (ex-secret-boyfriend?) laugh at something his fiancée had said. He knew damn well he’d never gotten over him; even after he cheated and they lost all they had built in the many years they were friends, Castiel’s heart had been set on caring for the man. He hadn’t kept in touch, but he’d ask Charlie about him every other day; if she thought he was crazy for asking, she never said a thing, and Castiel was glad for it.

Raising his glass to his lips, Castiel took a soft sip of his drink (some weird cocktail he hadn’t bothered to learn the name of) as his blue eyes focused on his ex-lover and Lisa. Sam, his younger brother, was also with them, arm-tied with a pretty blonde Castiel could only assume was his high school sweetheart. Through Charlie and Anna, he’d heard about their marriage, and had just about refrained from sending him a gift. He’d been like a younger brother to Castiel, at some point in time, but he couldn’t bring himself to rekindle that connection, after what had happened between himself and his older brother. It felt too intruding.

As Castiel's love interest leaned down to kiss Lisa’s temple, their gaze crossed. From this far away, Castiel knew he wouldn’t recognize him. Back when they were an item, Castiel had been blonde and small, and although his blue eyes remained the same, they were imperceptible under the dim lighting of the school gym. Despite the bad lightning, and the fact Castiel hadn't seen color since he'd left high school, he could count every freckle on his ex-boyfriend’s aged face, and his eyes vibrated in contrast to the darkness around them; they were still breathtakingly beautiful, and the thought had Castiel turn his back before he could give away his identity by beggining to cry, or something of the sorts.

Downing the rest of his drink in one big gulp, he grabbed for a different one and took a tentative sip before deciding it was alright enough with his palate. Alcohol had never been something he enjoyed or craved, but the more he’d watched his ex-lover move flawlessly around Lisa, the more he’d felt the need to drown away his sorrows in the mind-numbing liquid. He was busy giving his silent seal of approval into his glass, so he never noticed that he’d been approached.

“So, is there anything good to drink around here?”

Castiel’s heart stopped dead in his chest. Even though his voice had changed, the gruff tone and slight accent were enough to guarantee exactly who had just approached him. At first, Castiel thought of heading quickly to the nearest exit, but he couldn’t bring himself to move; the man's presence was enough to through his brain off-kilter, deeming him frozen in spot, a thousand thoughts running through his head-.  
Keeping his face out of the other’s sight (strategically enough that he'd only be able to see Castiel's wild black hair, really) and trusting that his voice had changed dramatically over the many years they hadn’t seen each other, he pointed to a couple of beer bottles nearby with a low reply of 'those'. He remembered more than enough to know his ex-boyfriend liked his beer more than he liked any other drink he could be offered, even when they were still underage.

“Oh, I hadn’t seen those. Thanks, buddy.”

The sting of the word made Castiel frown; he hadn’t thought he’d ever hear the other man call him that ever again. Before their attempt at a relationship, ‘buddy’ had been the choice of petname he had adopted for him. Sometimes, he’d add a ‘best’ before it, if he was feeling particularly emotional, or if he really needed Castiel’s help getting out of trouble. For a second, the blue-eyed one thought he’d been recognized and froze in place. He was just considering turning to face him when he spoke again.

“So, do we know each other? I know pretty much everyone in this room, but you’re kinda a mystery, man.”

“No,” was Castiel’s instant response. It felt safer to let him believe he was just a stranger. He didn’t want to make a scene similar to what he’d done when they’d last spoken, in their senior year.

“Were you, like, one'a those kids that took AP classes and stuff? I never hung out with that crowd. No offense or anything, but that’s more my brother’s style.” The slightly younger man seemed undeterred by Castiel’s cold shoulder, and it was testing his will not to turn and grab him, beg for his love once again. “I think I definetely would'a remembered you if we’d seen each other back then. You’re real pretty.”

This almost had Castiel turn to face him. Had he just heard correctly? Theboy who’d forced Castiel to hide their relationship for a whole year, only to cheat on him and now be engaged to the girl he’d done that with, had just called him pretty? He was at a loss for words, but knew he had to say something unless he wanted to sound suspicious. He was already doing a bad job at keeping his hands from shaking.

“I don’t think it’s wise to go around calling men pretty when your fiancée is around here somewhere.”

Even though he wasn’t looking at him, Castiel could hear him frown as he huffed under his breath. He wasn’t sure what that kind of response meant, but before he could think about it, the inevitable happened. So intent on hiding his face from his ex-boyfriend, Castiel had failed to remember that other people could see him, possibly recognize his face if they’d known him well enough. Despite how much he’d changed, he knew he still looked familiar enough, and that the people he’d once been close with would be able to recognize him in a flash, which was why he couldn’t let the other see him. In his haste to do it, however, and no matter that he’d seen Sam earlier, he forgot he was there, as well.

“Castiel? Is that you?,” came Sam’s voice, his footsteps hurriedly carrying him closer to the two men talking by the drinks’ table. Unable to help it, Castiel turned his eyes to his approaching figure, taking in just how different Sam looked. His hair was rather long, and his face sharper from years of seeing the world become an uglier place, but a big smile was on his lips. When he reached out to pull Castiel into an impromptu hug, he was too stunned to deny and ended up with one arm loosely around the younger’s back, and his face fully exposed to the older of the two brothers. From the corner of his eye, he could see the color drain from his ex’s face.“What happened to you? You fell off the face of the Earth, man; we looked for you everywhere!”

Gulping, Castiel pulled back from the hug. He’d never been good with personal space, except when it came to his own; he liked to set his own boundaries at time, keep himself inside a safe bubble where people couldn’t get close enough to hurt him. He didn’t dare to look at his ex-lover’s face as he cleared his throat, offering a meek smile at Sam.

After his failed relationship with the older of the two brothers, Castiel had, to put it simply, lost it. He’d turned into a depressive recluse, and after weeks of failing to show up to school, his mother had decided he would be best homeschooled, until he could get out again. He managed to graduate from his own home, that same year, and as soon as he’d been able to, had moved to Europe to continue his studies in Literature. For many years, he’d lived in a small apartment in the center of London, working on his PhD and living off his parents’ money, no questions asked. When he’d graduated university, London had lost it’s appeal and Castiel had moved back to the States, but this time far away from Lebanon, Kansas; he couldn’t handle going back to the town that’d seen him break. He’d stayed with his brother Gabriel in New York, instead, teaching at a local high school until he was offered a position at Kansas University, to teach an English Literature class, through influence of Castiel’s father, who had once taught that same class there.

Castiel considered telling Sam all of this. Before, he and the younger boy had been close enough that Castiel felt he could trust him with anything. If he wasn’t told specifically that he couldn’t tell Sam something, he’d end up talking to the younger boy about it. They were close, like brothers, and Castiel had always cherished that friendship, even to this day. But just as he opened his mouth to speak, he realized something - Sam still didn’t know about what had happened between Castiel and his older brother. That thought struck him in the chest, and all the warmth he’d felt from Sam’s clear fondness for Castiel just faded. He set his jaw hard, finally risking a glance in his ex's direction, just so he could see that Castiel knew. He knew the other boy had never bothered to tell Sam about them, about who he had once called the love of his life.

“Nothing happened to me. My mother decided to have me home-schooled, and I was offered to continue my studies in Europe, so I did. Nothing relevant, just the way life goes.”

Castiel could hear the bitterness in his own voice, and he knew the brothers heard it too. He didn’t care, though; right now, his heart was beating in his chest rapidly, out of control like a time bomb destined to explode. At his sides, his hands curled into fists so he could keep them from shaking, and he knew it wouldn’t take long for him to crack. He wasn’t sure what was to come - if tears and an emotional breakdown, or punches flying and a rage fit to rival that of an angry bull. He could see Sam open his mouth to ask another question, but Castiel was faster. “It was good to see you, Sam. Sarah looks beautiful as ever, and I’m happy you’re still together. After all, high school romances are never meant to last. I’m glad you beat the odds.”

This time, Castiel didn’t even try to disguise the pain laced with anger that vibrated in his words, and he levelled a glare in his ex-boyfriend’s direction. He was absolutely livid, not only at the other male for lying, but at himself, for thinking that coming to this reunion just so he could catch a glimpse of him was a good idea. He felt closer and closer to the edge of a precipice, and he knew he had to leave before he started free-falling down the cliff that lay ahead. Turning abruptly, he stepped between the two brothers to leave, but came to a halt as he was faced with none other than Lisa Braeden. The girl he had been cheated on with; the girl who'd gotten pregnant with his lover's child, who she was now engaged to. He knew Lisa knew about what had happened, but only because she’d come to Castiel’s house to apologize and swear to him she’d had no idea the boy was in a relationship when they’d had sex, or she never would’ve let him do her in the backseat of his car. Castiel had accepted the apology, knowing she’d been played as much as he had, but seeing her now, a diamond ring shining on her left hand, he felt wounded.

“Cas, I’m–”

Castiel stopped Lisa with a harsh, tear-stained glare. When had he begun crying? He wasn’t sure. But her voice, what she was about to say, was enough to kick him flying straight over the edge of the cliff he’d seen coming, and he found that tears, and the emotional breakdown similiar to what he’d gone through when he first found that his boyfriend had cheated, was exactly what was waiting for him. Before he could stop himself, he was yelling. “Don’t you dare apologize to me! Don’t you dare call me that name and look like you’re the one who’s gotten the shorter end of the stick, here! You- You-”

People were staring, now, and Castiel saw Charlie run to him from the corner of his eyes, but he just turned to face his former lover, instead. His voice lowered, raw with pain and grief and longing, and he pointed a shaky finger at the man. “You never even told your fucking brother about us, did you? You let him believe I just decided to vanish, and you never even took the blame for what you did, because you were so scared Sam would hate you for it, that everyone would lose their respect for you, you coward. You didn’t even care to notice that Sam never gave a shit that Charlie and I were gay, and that no one at school cared about Aaron, the football quarterback, dating one of his fucking teammates. No, people would fucking hang you for it, just because you’re you, and you just couldn’t like boys, it was not manly enough for you. You wanted so bad for people to think you were 'normal’, you betrayed the only person who knew the real you and loved you with all of your flaws. Good job. All that respect has certainly been well applied.”

“Cas, hey, it’s enough, let’s go, c'mon.” Charlie and Anna were on either side of Castiel now, holding his arms and steering him to the door. The only reason Castiel complied, was because he was suddenly aware that he was surrounded by his former high school friends, and he’d just yelled loud enough for everyone to hear about his private pain. He’d just broadcasted his grief to the world (the way Castiel saw it), and now embarrassment was setting in, dread freezing the blood in his veins. The tears were still tracking down his cheeks as he felt the soft wind reach him when they stepped outside, and it took him just a couple more steps to collapse, sobs wrecking through his chest as Charlie held him close, and Anna stood guard behind him, glaring at any passerby who looked too curiously his way. Castiel didn’t care if anyone saw him crying, not after the scene he’d just made, but he appreciated her effort, nonetheless.

People often side they lost grack of time when they were crying; that they couldn’t tell how long the tears lasted, how many had been shed, how much time had passed. Castiel, however, could feel every second of it; he could tell that he’d been at it for about ten minutes when his knees started to ache, and that he’d cried more in those ten minutes than in the last ten years combined. He knew he was supposed to pull back, now, and say he felt better, that he was going to be okay, but he found that he couldn’t. His heart, it had finally exploded, and was now in bits and pieces all around the floor, leaving him empty-chested and hollow inside. He knew he should feel numb, but while that was what the feeling of not caring could be described as, he knew that wasn’t completely true. The grief of his lost love was still there, a part of his DNA that he had been ignoring for the past ten years. He wondered, still wrapped in Charlie’s arms, if his ex felt the same way; if losing Castiel had been like losing a part of his soul, and even though he moved on, he could still feel the space where that missing piece went, if he could still feel the soft ache Castiel’s absence had caused, even if it was just as a friend. He’d never given him a chance to explain, to try to make things right; his depression had taken him too far into a black hole to allow that to happen.

He heard footsteps closing in on them, but Castiel didn’t look up. Whoever it was, he was sure Anna would send them away in an instant. He was too far gone in his mind to care about being seen like this, about the fact that he’d spent the last ten years loving someone who hadn’t even braved up enough to talk about who they’d once been, and that he would possibly feel this way for the rest of his colorless life. When the footsteps stopped, he expected Anna to gruffly be telling whoever had stood near to go away, but instead he saw the person crouch next to them. He felt a hand on his shoulder and his skin came to life as electricity sprouted through him for just a simple touch, and he knew instantly who was the one prying him away from Charlie’s arms and holding him closer than he’d ever had, before. Castiel couldn’t command his arms to hug back, but he buried his head in his former lover’s shoulder instictively, because, even after everything, Castiel was still hanging onto him like he was his lifeline.

“I’m an idiot, Cas,” came his gruff, low voice, right next to his ear. By now, Castiel could tell the other was shaking slightly, and forced his hands to rest on the small of his back, just to give him a semblance of the comfort he knew he needed. It was, at this point, just instictive to comfort him whenever Castiel felt it would benefit him. “I know I’m an idiot, and you know I’m an idiot, so I won’t even try to apologize. Apologies should be avoided, and I messed up pretty bad... I fucked up the best thing that ever happened to me, and I know I don’t deserve a second chance, but I really want one. Maybe not right now, I know I can’t ask that of you right now, but just- . I thought I was doing right by you, letting you live your life without hiding, and I told myself I was doing the right thing every single time I wanted to call you and beg for forgiveness, but I was wrong. I can see that now. I- We’re better together. You fix me up, and I fix you up. And it’s been ten years, but I still feel like you know me better than anyone else, and if there’s one in a life time, then I’m sure you’re it for me. And I messed that up. You deserve better than that, I know, but I- I don’t think I can leave you again. I don’t want to.”


	3. Part II: A Plan For the Future

This time, Cas couldn’t feel time pass. Unlike when he was crying, he couldn’t tell how long his silence lasted, couldn’t count how many breaths he’d taken as the other's words settled in. He knew ten years had passed, and it was highly unlikely that their feelings remained the same. He knew his former lover had hurt him, and he didn’t deserve a second chance. He knew he had a ten-year-old daughter who needed him, and it wouldn’t be fair to just steal him away from the family he’d put together… But Castiel’s heart was pumping with hope, now. His tears stopped falling and the numbness, the grief, they were being replaced with that much brighter feeling, even when he was rational enough to know that this was too good to be that simple.

“I..." Castiel pulled back slightly, blinking away his tears to look up at his lover's face. Outside, the streetlights cast a nice light over them, giving them enough to see each other's faces, gaze into each other's eyes. If Castiel could use words to describe the moment, he'd say 'heartbreaking'. He could hear Charlie and Anna move away to give them privacy, but he didn't need that... Because, he realized, the ache in his heart was still there, and his soul felt as empty as the day he stopped showing up to school, almost like it was missing the other half of it. "I can't... I can't, this isn't right."

Scrambling up to his feet, and away from his ex-boyfriend's grip, Castiel took a deep breath. The light that shone was bright, but his world was still black and white. He couldn't see the color of the other man's eyes, or the tone of his skin; when he glanced at his friends, he couldn't see the color of their hair, not even slightly, like he'd been able to, in high school. And while he'd been done a very wrong thing, and it had been hurtful, Castiel realized that, all these years, his soul hadn't been grieving that; his heart hadn't been broken over his ex-boyfriend, but over the fact he'd stopped going to school, where his better half must be. A school where Castiel sometimes caught glimpses of color, but never for long; a place where, sometimes, his soul would float like he was finally home.

"Castiel, please... I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you."

For a long time, Castiel thought that he was deffective; because being with his lover hadn't allowed him to see full colors, like it did for everybody else. Sometimes, he did, and most times he didn't. He thought that was his own problem, because he was sure that their relationship was it; best friends to lovers, the stuff movies are made of. When his friends talked about their soulmates, and how beautiful the world looked painted in so many different colors, Castiel nodded and smiled like he understood it, but he'd always been scared that he was faulty, that his brain didn't work right. Now, he knew he was wrong.

"What color are my eyes, Inias?"

For most people in a relationship, the question would be simple. Because Castiel had been so terrified his brain didn't work like everybody else's, he had never once asked Inias if he saw colors the way he did. He'd never questioned him about the color of the sky or the way the grass shone under the sunlight. Now, however, Castiel saw the truth - his ex-boyfriend had no clue. Inias' expression was pained, apologetic, but Castiel didn't really blame him; he had no fault that Castiel had been dumb enough to fall for him, and ignore the obvious sign that they weren't meant to be together, like he thought they were.

"What color are Lisa's eyes, then?"

"Brown," came the automatic response, confirming Castiel's suspicions. "They look like chocolate and caramel, when the sun's in the right spot..." Before he went any further, Castiel saw realization dawn on Inias' face. They weren't meant to be together again; they never were.

"I loved you, I really did," Castiel's voice was soft as he saw his ex-lover rise to meet him. His shoulders were slumped, his expression heavy with guilt and shame. "I know you loved me too, Inias, don't worry. But we were never meant to work... Maybe it could've happened another way, this really doesn't excuse what you did to me, but... It's in the past. I realize now it's not you I've been grieving, but whoever was in that school that was my actual soulmate..." Looking up at the building where the reunion was being held, Castiel gulped. "They're not in there, I haven't been able to see color all night. I wonder if there's still a chance to find them, now."

To say Castiel was disappointed and hopeless was an understatement. He’d spent many years of his life miserable over a man he wasn’t supposed to; a man who he had fully believed was his soulmate, when, in fact, he wasn’t. Ten long years, he’d spent life in black and white, thinking the source of the color he’d cherished, the few moments he’d experienced it, had betrayed and abandoned him like he was nothing by a fly in his way. Those thoughts had stung, they had broken Castiel, and had taken away precious time from him; time he could’ve spent seacvhing for his twin soul, his better half, the key that unlocked the beauty of the world. Taking a deep breath, he cleared his throat as he felt various pairs of eyes on him - Charlie and Anna eyed him with concern, while Inias just looked at him with apologies all over his gaze. “This doesn’t excuse your betrayal, I hope you know. Doesn’t make the fact that you didn’t tell Samandriel, who you know I loved like my own brother, the real reason I left; what traspired between us… But I’m willing to forgive you, Inias. It has been ten years, after all. I cannot bear this grudge any lon–”

Before he could finish his thought, a voice broke through the almost empty parking lot.

“Charlie? That you?”

The voice was low, gruff, almost like a rumble. Still, it exuded happiness and wonder as it carried to the people standing near the entrance to the gym where the reunion was being held. Despite what had just happened, Castiel couldn’t help but to snap his gaze to the newcomer, taking in his sharp jaw and slight beard fuzz that covered it; he couldn’t not notice the freckles that seemed to scream under the strong headlights that surrounded them all, and how bright and green his eyes looked, even from a distance. He felt he could get lost in them, with how many stories he could see dancing in their irises, and then it hit him -

His eyes were green.

For a long time, Castiel had only known what colors were because of the soft glimpses of it he caught in high school, at random times. He had never experienced them at full power, but, suddenly, they were there and his body was cataloguing esch and every one. His own blue eyes were wide with wonder, and he couldn’t stop himself - he looked at Charlie and Anna, noticing how their hair, which he had already known to be red, had different shades he had never understood; he glanced at Inias, and fully realized how his eyes were a soft blue, like nothing Castiel had ever seen before… But, still, not as beautiful or captivating as the newcomer’s eyes.

“Dean! Look, I’m happy to see you but this might not be the best–”

“Charlie.” Castiel interrupted her in a soft voice, just loud enough that she heard him. He could see her give him a worried look, but he didn’t spare another moment looking at her. He couldn’t spend any longer not looking at the man approaching them, now. Dean Winchester. He remembered him briefly; they shared a class or two, and had rode the same bus until Dean was sixteen years old and his father had given him his beloved car, a 67’ Chevy Impala that Castiel had admired from afar, but had never gotten the chance to see up close. They didn’t share friends, didn’t talk, but sometimes he’d catch Dean looking at him in the hallways, wistful. Back then, Castiel had thought Dean was just checking him out, hadn't given those looks a second thought; now, he was looking at it another way.

There was a lot Castiel wanted to ask him, now. He felt drawn to him, to see if their hands fit together perfectly like in the movies, if kissing Dean would feel like coming home, like in the novels. His heart was beating erratically in his chest by now, and he parted his lips to speak when Dean was close enough, but Inias beat him to the punch.

"Do... Do I know you?"

Castiel watched as Dean, who had been looking only at him and smiling, so far, turned to face Inias at his question, his expression hardening. He stood taller than before, definetely not as relaxed as he'd been when he'd spotted the group, and Castiel wondered why. He didn't have to wonder for long.

"Sure do, buddy. I think I left quite a lasting impression when we met," Dean replied, voice clipped and cold. His words seemed to be enough to spark the memory in Inias' face, and Castiel watched his eyes narrow as he pointed a finger at the newcomer.

"Right! You're the guy who put me in the hospital!"

Castiel stopped breathing for a second. Dean had put Inias in the hospital? Not while Castiel was around, he was sure... So, that meant... Looking at Dean once again, he watched him glance his way, briefly; if Castiel hadn't been looking, he was sure he would've missed the glance, like everyone else did.

"That's me, yep. Dean Winchester, in the flesh." Dean shrugged a shoulder, nonchalant. "I'll do it again in a heartbeat, if you fuck up like you did back then."

"Fuck up? What the hell did I ever do to you?"

Castiel could see Inias was obviously angry, also standing straighter to try to match up to Dean's height. He knew he should stop this, he knew he should put a hand on his ex-boyfriend's shoulder and pull him away, but Castiel was dizzy with all the newfound colours of the world, and, besides, he was a lot more poised to hold Dean back than Inias, anyway. He was craving his touch, now, his hands tingling with the need to feel the spark he'd heard about a million times, before.

"You broke the heart of someone I care very dearly about."

Once again, everything seemed to stop. Inias tilted his head in confusion, and Anna and Charlie exchanged a glance of uncomprehension amongst them. Castiel, himself, could only stare at Dean, mesmerized. While he didn't condone violence, especially not to the point in which a hospital was involved, he felt warmth spread all over by knowing Dean had beat up Inias for him.

"What-- who--" Inias stopped his questions for a second, glancing towards his ex-boyfriend and finally registering the way he wouldn't stop staring at Dean. "Castiel? You know this douchebag?"

The blue-eyed man's first instinct was to protect his soulmate; to scold Inias for insulting him, and telling him that, violent as he might've gotten, at least Dean had never broken his heart. But, despite the many conflicting emotions inside of him, most which made him feel like he was floating on air, he managed to shake his head and keep all that at bay. He directed his gaze towards Inias, now, even though everything in his body told him not to look away from Dean for just one second, lest he might lose sight of him like he did for the past ten years.

"No, we've never officially met," Castiel started, interrupting Inias with his next words before he could speak. "But I think we are quite attuned to each other, anyway," he explained vaguely. He didn't try to hold back anymore, turning his head to find Dean watching him, a small grin gracing his lips. "Hello, Dean."

"Heya, Cas," the taller man spoke, hands in his pockets as he completely ignored everyone else in favor of walking closer to the blue-eyed one. "Finally caught up, then?" He questioned, and Castiel knew - Dean had always known Castiel was his soulmate, but he had never said a word. "Took you a while, then."

There were still a lot of things Castiel wanted to say, but he couldn't find the words. Dean was closer, now, and Castiel was once again lost in the green shade of his eyes, the soft stubble around his jaw, the constellations of freckles dancing over his nose and cheekbones. God, he was absolutely breathtaking from afar, but, up close, he just looked other-worldly. Like a God people had forgotten to worship over time, or a demon built to tempt anyone into his bed.

"Wait, wait wait, what the hell is going on?" That was Charlie, speaking from their side. Both Castiel and Dean turned their head to her at the sudden voice, blinking back the daze they'd found themselves in. Their chests were almost touching now, and both took a little while to regain their breath, which they'd been holding as they stared at each other, and that seemed enough of an answer for her. "Holy crap! You're soulmates, aren't you?!"

"Yes," both men replied in unison. Castiel melted slightly as the confirmation came from Dean's lips, as well as his own, and sagued slightly in relief. He found Dean's hand at his back immediately, holding him upright, and a little smile came to his lips. "You have very beautiful hair, Charlie. And you, Anna. I never knew they were different shades of red, it was quite the discovery."

The two women looked at Castiel in disbelief for a second, but then huge grins spread across their faces. Anna, his sister, and Charlie had found out they were soulmates through Castiel, many years ago, when he had asked both out to dinner when returning from London. They had felt eternally grateful to him, but also guilty about how that night turned out - they couldn't stop staring at each other, to the point where Castiel said the most ridiculous things to try and get their attention, and it went unnoticed. He had felt glad they'd found each other, but hadn't been able to be among them for a while; the hurt he still felt over not having his own soulmate was too much to bear, and it took him a while to adapt to their relationship. They had never blamed him, however, and had always stuck by his side, trying to get him to date other people and find his own happiness. Castiel was sure they had no clue that it would be this easy.

"Dude," Charlie exclaimed, happily, as she turned to look at Dean. "When you told me about how your soulmate wasn't ready for you and all that 'waiting however long it takes' crap, you were talking about Cas?" She paused only long enough to let Dean nod. "Dude! You should've told me, man, Cas was sulking away his life for no friggin' reason!"

Castiel found that he had to look up if he wanted to see Dean's face, now. Somehow, when he was talking to Charlie, he'd ended up under Dean's arm, leaning against his side. He felt safe there, as if he was finally put back together after being broken for so long. Even from this angle, the taller man looked absolutely beautiful, and Castiel wished they weren't amidst their friends so they could calmly talk things out, discuss how they wanted to approach their relationship, where they wanted to go, from here.

"What was I gonna say? 'Hey, Char, you know that friend who's all heartbroken 'cause his boyfriend was a dick in high school? Yeah, that's my fault--"

"What?" Castiel couldn't help it. As much as he liked Dean's voice, (and he did, a lot) he couldn't let him continue that sentence. "Since when was what happened your fault?"

"Well. I knew you were my soulmate the moment you walked into our algebra class in freshman year. If I'd said something, you wouldn't have been cheated on with, Cas."

Castiel took a step back from Dean, then, his eyes narrowing as he stared at the other man. He had a point in what he was saying, he could recognize that, but assuming the blame for Castiel's heartbreak was just a step too far. Of course, Castiel's life would have been very different had Dean said something, and, now, he couldn't help imagining exactly what would have changed, but that didn't mean his soulmate should take the blame. That didn't seem right.

"Is that why you beat me up, then? You felt guilty?"

Inias' voice was accusing, and the words sliced through Castiel's heart quickly. He hadn't even considered that, not until now, but as the possibility formed in his head, it quickly grew to a darkness over his chest. After all, Dean had lived a long time without even trying to reach Castiel, right? He had been able to live knowing they were soulmates, but not saying or doing anything about it. Perhaps, Castiel thought, he was one of the few people who didn't care about soulmates. Perhaps, he had gone after Inias simply because he wanted to compensate for his guilt.

"No!" Dean was angry, now, glaring daggers at Inias. Castiel's eyes were wide, mouth slightly agape, as the hypothetical rejection from his soulmate, back then, settled in his heart. "No fucking way. Cas," Dean called for him, his hands flying to the blue-eyed's face, holding him gently, dearly. "Cas, look at me. You know that thing that happens sometimes, when someone feels suck a heartbreaking emotion, all their colors leave, but one? Fuck, Cas. He broke your heart so bad I could only see blue. I was so upset that you were in pain, I only saw blue for the past ten years. I don't know why it was blue, if it's got something to do with sadness and loss, or it's just 'cause that's the color of your eyes, but, dammit, I didn't go after him 'cause of guilt, and I'm not here right now just 'cause I fucked up, okay?"

Castiel could hear the shuffling of feet as Anna and Charlie pulled Inias away, but he didn't look at them. He couldn't stop staring at Dean, taking in the vibrant green of his eyes, the warmth of his hands on his cheeks.

"Look, I tried to look for you, I did. I went to your place, but your mom said you felt ill, every single time. Then, she said you'd left for college, and I just- I thought I'd wait. I didn't know whether you were coming back or not, but I thought I'd wait. You were bound to come home for holidays or something, right? But you didn't. You stayed away, God knows where, for a long ass time. By the time you came back into town, I was convinced you wouldn't want to see me, I thought you'd look for your soulmate when you were ready, and, then... then we'd be together. But you didn't look for me, so I kept thinking you weren't ready."

"I... Dean, I didn't know. I didn't know it was you." Castiel's voice was rough, quiet in the night that embraced them. Finally out of his doubting stupor, he reached a hand up to cover Dean's, a soft sigh passing his lips. "I thought I was defective. I thought... I convinced myself Inias was my soulmate, but that I was defective - that I couldn't see color properly. Inias and I, we never talked about it, but because I caught glimpses of color when we were together, at school, I thought I was right. I was very in love with him."  
Seeing and feeling the flinch at his words, Castiel rubbed his thumb over the back of Dean's hand.

"Ssh, it's okay, Dean. What I felt for Inias could not compare to the bond we share, I assure you," he whispered comfortingly, leaning forward, closer to the other man. "I feel so... complete, right now. I don't even know you, not really, but you feel safer than anyone I have ever met. I'd trust you with my life, Dean Winchester, and I don't even know what your favorite color is."

"Blue," was Dean's instant reply, a soft word that passed his lips before he finally connected them with Castiel's.

After so many years of no affection, Castiel had spent many nights wondering if everyone kissed like Inias did; he had no point of comparison, before. He had thought no one could compare to him, anyway, because his kisses had always been soft and gentle, and had always shown Castiel he was cared for. Now, however, Castiel knew what it was like to be really kissed. Dean's lips weren't soft against his, they were heavy and determined, yet still loving, almost as if Dean was fighting to worship Castiel, fighting to show him how important he was in just one kiss. His hands were kind on his face, carressing his skin and travelling to his hair as he struggled to pull Castiel closer, as if they were not close enough despite the fact every inch of their bodies was connected, then. Where Inias' kisses were affectionate, Dean's were unapologetically a bearing of his soul, of the feelings he couldn't speak out loud, and Castiel was more enamored by them than he had ever been by anything else in his life.

Pulling back from the kiss proved to be a struggle, as none of the men thought they could have enough of the sensation, but Castiel managed it nonetheless, breath heavy as he opened his eyes to Dean's once again. He smiled up at his soulmate, his entire body tingly with happiness when the other smiled back, and reached one of his hands for Dean's face, unable to help himself from making his thumb swipe over the freckles that dotted it.

"I should have figured you'd like the freckles," Dean grumbled lowly, amused, and Castiel chuckled softly at the words.

"I did always enjoy constellations," he mused, blue eyes shining with glee as he stared at his soulmate. He felt like the luckiest man on earth, for having found him.

"I know. I heard you talking to Charlie sometimes, you big nerd." Dean's words were affectionate, and Castiel smiled at them. He wished Dean would have said something, back then, but knowing that Dean had cared and looked after Castiel even when he thought Castiel didn't want him, it warmed his heart the same way as if they had been together all along.

"Guess what, Dean Winchester?"

"What, Cas?"

"This nerd right here is your soulmate, That makes you a nerd by association."

Laughter erupted from both men as they stood under the moonlight in the school's parking lot, and, for the first time in his life, Castiel allowed himself to laugh freely, his head thrown back as Dean joined him, his own head resting against the shorter's shoulder. In that moment, Castiel knew that they would continue to make each other laugh through their life together, even if he still didn't know the first thing about his soulmate. He knew they'd talk about it all, eventually, and that, together, they'd build the life they had craved for, all these years.

 

It wouldn't be perfect by any standards, but it would fit them both perfectly. Castiel could hardly wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, first things first! Thank you so much for reading this story, even though it's short and kind of a little weird. It means the world to me to have someone read stuff of mine, because I've been in a very dark place where no writing would come out, for a long time. So, yes, thank you!  
> Secondly, I know that pairing Lisa with Inias might've seemed weird, and I know no one ever called Samandriel 'Sam', but hey, I had to make this work, somehow!  
> As I mentioned before, this story took a lot of forms before coming to this - it was originally inspired by Calum Scott's cover of Dancing On My Own, and I was going to have Dean have been the one doing the heartbreak in the first place, but that didn't fly with me; I love Castiel too much, and I know he's way too strong to go crawling back to someone who'd hurt him like that. I wasn't originally planning on making this a soulmate fic, with the colour variant, but then I got into the song Colorblind, by a portuguese artist named Kika, and I just felt the need to write it like this. It probably seems a little forced here, and I apologise, I do. I tried to make it work, but I need to work on my world-building, I think.  
> Last, but not least, I hope you enjoyed this story, and that, even though it's not that great of a work, in itself, it at least was good enough to pass a little time!  
> I'll stop talking now, I promise.


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